** the hard feelings **

again...i lose to the hard feelings that control me...
but not me, myself control it,,,haiz..
i thought that i overcame the feelings but i m totally wrong...
i m sad from the 2nd day of cny until today actually...
mayb i expect too high d...
thats why even he did not do anything wrong...
i also feel angry, sad and disappointed...
when i visited all my relatives,,,
everyone asked me where is ur bf??why din bring him along??
i jz can ans: "he is now celebrating his new year in pahang, he is not free. "
i was smiling that time of coz....
but my heart was crying...
bcoz i dun have the opportunity to celebrate new year v him...
by the way, its alright he celebrate new year at his relative hometown...
BUT...when all my cousins look so excited to wait to see him...
i feel so sad...
bcoz i cant make them meet up while he never mean to come...
wat can i do is jz accept...
let it be....
wat he wan to do jz let him to do...
alto i had forced myself to dun care so much...
but my tears are still disobeying me...
it drops at the end...
so what's the feeling towards this new year is hard...
i m sad... :(
sorry grandpa, not that i purposely dun wanna fetch u all for breakfast, but jz...i reali need a break...i m tired of the days wake up very early in the morning... sorry...